I have been blogging and talking online more lately about some hard parts of my childhood, particularly my violated boundaries and my difficult relationship with my mother. I’ve also thought about something my therapist said after I’d been seeing him for a while. It was something like, “I just imagine how successful and strong you would have been without the mother and… Read more →
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‘How are we doing in there?’
“Only children” have it a little weirder than most. We’re not used to getting dressed and undressed in front of other people. We’re more private. More sensitive to prying eyes and bodily integrity. Close the door! Get out! Quit looking at me! Shriek!!! So it was always quite the expedition when I was in elementary school for my mother to… Read more →
You little shitass
Okay, here’s an utterly GROSS bit of childhood trivia. I had trouble pooping when I was a kid, and I would hide the fact from my mother as long as I could because I’d rather hurt than endure the solution. Eventually, though, Mama always noticed. She was a nurse, unafraid of bodily functions, so she would solve my problem with an… Read more →
So safe I was trapped
I knew my childhood was lonely and there were some bad experiences, bad practices, and a few bad people. It wasn’t until I got into counseling and watched my therapists gape that I began to realize just how unhealthy and abnormal some parts of it were. All these years, I have carried forth the belief that I am a bad… Read more →
Better life after the affair (not because of it)
I get pissed off every single time that I hear a video or read an article about infidelity in which they triumphantly crow, “Our marriage is better today than it was before the affair.” (Imagine giant billowing clouds of super-heated steam coming out of both my ears.) … deep breath … My response: Yes, that is very likely true in… Read more →
His love is like a red, red rose. For him.
We marked our 21st wedding anniversary today. The original plan was for him to cook steaks for the family tonight, and we plan to go out to a movie and casual dinner on Saturday. (But I was not feeling well, so we just ate baked potatoes and are saving the steaks for Saturday too.) I do like the fact that he’s sentimental about… Read more →
Our hide-and-go-seek sex life
I wonder how many people feel as conflicted as I do about having sex with a spouse who has been unfaithful. My husband’s multi-year emotional affair ended in mid-2012. Our sex life has been erratic since then. He has always struggled with erectile dysfunction, but it was much, much worse in the years just before his affair. It got to… Read more →