Category: Boundaries

Micro-acts of equality (aka: “Respect, bitches”)

It’s only been about three years since I realized how ingrained it is for me to minimize myself in deference to others. What I’ve always thought of as courtesy and reasonable humility is actually a little debasing. And I’m doing it to myself. It’s ridiculous to be this way, because I’m perfectly capable of being assertive or even aggressive when… Read more →

Boundaries. I have a few.

You know how sometimes a podcast or video will strike a chord with you? Well, Shahida Arabi’s YouTube channel, Self-Care Haven, banged a gong in my head today with the topic of “How to Become a Kickass, Empowered Empath in a World of Toxic People.” For me, the jury’s still out on the concept of being an empath. I’m still puzzling… Read more →

Where rage is born

This article (see link at bottom) about horrible things some men say and do made me think of a few warping experiences from my own youth. Story #1: Back in the late 1970s, a high school boyfriend MADE me have sex with him while on a trip with his family to visit relatives. He and I stayed with an uncle,… Read more →

Walk up to the “I” line, but no further. (Or “Learning to stay in my lane.”)

My therapist is great. He gave me some useful, subtle advice for a persistent issue I’ve encountered with assholes my whole life. The advice is: Don’t bother trying to explain to or argue with a mentally unhealthy person. Keep your emotions in check during any unavoidable or necessary encounters. (A frank friend once said it more succinctly: “Check yourself before… Read more →