No more pebbles … please

I’m really frustrated this morning, because my husband thinks I’m rejecting his gifts and criticizing him if I don’t ooh and ah over his unsolicited offerings. With him, all I am able to do is praise and thank. Anything else gets met with sullenness. This morning is an example of why he’s difficult to communicate with. He decided with no… Read more →

Fuck your tempest, fuck your teapot

It was a good morning that just turned to shit. I’m sure it will roll back around to a good day eventually. It’s just not there yet. I was putting on my makeup, arguing politics with my politically exasperating husband. I finally threw up my hands (metaphorically) and decided to finish getting dressed for work. I was frustrated with him,… Read more →

Dreaming of me

Sometimes when I go to see my therapist we talk about something other than me or my family or my problems. I don’t know whether that’s because he’s just pleasant and interesting to talk to or because I need a break from the inside of my own head. Last week, we talked about how my older daughter wants to get… Read more →

I wanna see me be brave.

I’m back after a long silence. I managed to paint myself into a corner with this blog, and it took me a while to grow my spine back. ;o) And obviously I love to mix metaphors. Here’s what happened: I love this blog, and when I find someone online who resonates with me, I am pretty casual about revealing my real… Read more →

Micro-acts of equality (aka: “Respect, bitches”)

It’s only been about three years since I realized how ingrained it is for me to minimize myself in deference to others. What I’ve always thought of as courtesy and reasonable humility is actually a little debasing. And I’m doing it to myself. It’s ridiculous to be this way, because I’m perfectly capable of being assertive or even aggressive when… Read more →

Trust your true self.

The wisdom in my favorite YouTube video of the day resonated with me like a mallet to a gong, and I can still hear it ringing. I highly recommend listening to Finally Free From Narcissism’s YouTube talk, “Followup to Entitlement to Attention.” She’s a professional dog trainer and a wise and fun YouTuber, and she told about writing to another pet… Read more →

Like an old leaf on the water

My husband keeps asking me, “Are you okay?” And I keep not being okay. (I don’t say that, but I’m not.) It feels like I’ve got something painful to realize or to say, but I’m not quite there yet. Have you ever had a niggling vague ache that you can’t quite pin down, but you know it’s not supposed to feel… Read more →