But my distortions are FAMILIAR to me

I’m working with a new therapist via the betterhelp.com website, and I like his approach so far. (I’m also very happy with the level of help and the frequency of contact I get for their asking price — just $45/week, paid a month in advance. I don’t get any recompense for saying that; I just like them.) I’ve come to… Read more →

She told me it’s OK to stay

  Recently went to my psychiatrist for our semi-annual chat and renewal of my antidepressant medicines. She asked how I was doing in my marriage, because she knows the traumatic history. I told her that it’s comfortable. I don’t trust him like I used to, so I’m much more reserved, less reliant and less vulnerable than I was in the… Read more →

‘Don’t throw that away. It can still be fixed.’ … Right?

“Focus on self, and not what ‘they’ should be doing.” — Jaime Primak Sullivan, in a 2017 video Damn, that’s good advice. And very hard to faithfully follow. Like Jaime, I’m mindful and try to be the very best version of myself. I believe that a living person is always learning. But when I’m unhappy with someone it’s very easy… Read more →

Here comes Peter Cottontail

Just a little update on the non-event of my sex life. Finally bought a new vibrator to replace the one that died when its old batteries rusted in place. (Oh, the metaphor there.) My old one was a boring beige — long and slender with an egg-shaped blob at the business end. I used to call it ET’s Finger, and it… Read more →

Not your BAE, not your Boo

My husband has always told me stories about us. He reinforces the narrative he wants to emphasize, turning observations into marital canon. Like how we are “soul mates.” Like how we are “just meant to be.” Like how we laugh and talk when we are out to eat, while other couples in the restaurant around us sit silent, with dour faces,… Read more →