I’m coming down with a cold. And I’ve got an unusually high work load this week. So when I came home from work, I took some Theraflu and laid down for a nap before I tackled the work I brought home with me. I eventually got up and slogged to the kitchen to reheat some dinner, and all I wanted… Read more →
Category: Boundaries
You can lean on me … but no piggyback rides
I’m having trouble being supportive. My husband is having surgery in a couple of months to repair a giant hernia on his belly. He’s already gloomy about the news, worried about the cost, and fretting about getting older and having physical ailments. He also recently got the news that he has to have another tooth pulled and replaced with another… Read more →
Micro-acts of equality (aka: “Respect, bitches”)
It’s only been about three years since I realized how ingrained it is for me to minimize myself in deference to others. What I’ve always thought of as courtesy and reasonable humility is actually a little debasing. And I’m doing it to myself. It’s ridiculous to be this way, because I’m perfectly capable of being assertive or even aggressive when… Read more →
Analysis: ‘How DARE you call me on my bullshit!’
I’m posting this defense here in honor of a dear gal who has enlightened me, touched my heart and generously shared her personal stories, research, and insights with me and others on her YouTube channel. I only know her online, but she feels like a friend. She got a manipulative letter from her sister recently after she went no-contact with the sister.… Read more →
Boundaries. I have a few.
You know how sometimes a podcast or video will strike a chord with you? Well, Shahida Arabi’s YouTube channel, Self-Care Haven, banged a gong in my head today with the topic of “How to Become a Kickass, Empowered Empath in a World of Toxic People.” For me, the jury’s still out on the concept of being an empath. I’m still puzzling… Read more →
Losing Daddy & stealing Mama’s pretty dress
My dad died suddenly when I was six of an unexpected heart condition. I remember that I locked myself in the bathroom at his funeral because I just wanted to GET AWAY from all the people. My daddy’s brother, my gruff Uncle T., came to the door and told me to come out because the service was about to start.… Read more →
Where rage is born
This article (see link at bottom) about horrible things some men say and do made me think of a few warping experiences from my own youth. Story #1: Back in the late 1970s, a high school boyfriend MADE me have sex with him while on a trip with his family to visit relatives. He and I stayed with an uncle,… Read more →
‘How are we doing in there?’
“Only children” have it a little weirder than most. We’re not used to getting dressed and undressed in front of other people. We’re more private. More sensitive to prying eyes and bodily integrity. Close the door! Get out! Quit looking at me! Shriek!!! So it was always quite the expedition when I was in elementary school for my mother to… Read more →
It felt like torture. Every time.
I went through one completely tortuous medical procedure over and over when I was a child. I can remember the pain and the helplessness to this day. I can even remember the name of the nurse, what the waiting room looked like, and the color and taste of the medicine they gave me. This was when I was in… Read more →
Quit crushing my hand
This is the first in an occasional series about the imaginary conversations I have in my head. (Don’t worry. I’m mentally balanced. Just very imaginative, and I often work off stresses by imagining how I could have handled recent irritants better. It also helps me to draw boundaries.) I have arthritis in my hands, visibly so if you glance at… Read more →