Where rage is born

Source: Flickr.com; some rights reserved.
Source: Flickr.com; some rights reserved.

This article (see link at bottom) about horrible things some men say and do made me think of a few warping experiences from my own youth.

Story #1: Back in the late 1970s, a high school boyfriend MADE me have sex with him while on a trip with his family to visit relatives. He and I stayed with an uncle, and I slept on the sofa, so that’s where he insisted on the sex, saying, “What do you think I brought you for?” It was awful.

I should have been clued in by what happened on the way to his uncle’s house. He and I sat in the back seat for the six-hour drive while his parents drove, and he saw me chewing gum. He asked for a piece. Sorry, I took the last, I told him with a smile. He told me to split it with him, which I thought was gross. When I wouldn’t spit out some of the gum, he pinched my arm. Hard. I guess he forgot how stubborn and proud I am. I should have yelped sooner because his parents would have stopped him, but I┬ástuck it out for a while. By the time we got to Alabama, I had a huge black bruise on my arm. He seemed ashamed when I told people what happened.

Why would I allow someone to treat me this way? And why, many years later, would I accept a friend request from this man on Facebook?

Source: Flickr.com; some rights reserved.

Story #2: Many years ago, in my 20s, I had a newspaper colleague who was easily 20-30 years my senior who always used to walk by me and bark out, “SMILE!” I tried telling him a few times I saw no point in smiling inanely at a computer screen while I was writing, or more tartly, that I wasn’t there for his decoration. He persisted. One day, I’d finally had enough: I slammed my hands down on the desk, stood up with an exaggerated snarl and said, “I’m baring my teeth at you — will that do?!”

I got the “you crazy bitch” look of bafflement that eventually floats across the face of the Eternally Clueless. SUPER satisfying.

Needless to say, I identified with many of the horrifying memories in the article I mentioned at the top of this post. The brief statements were written by women who’ve encountered super-entitled men who weren’t raised to treat women as human beings. This article is well worth the read: http://www.bodyforwife.com/she-doesnt-owe-you-shit/.

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