“Focus on self, and not what ‘they’ should be doing.”
— Jaime Primak Sullivan, in a 2017 video
Damn, that’s good advice. And very hard to faithfully follow.
Like Jaime, I’m mindful and try to be the very best version of myself. I believe that a living person is always learning. But when I’m unhappy with someone it’s very easy to keep wishing the other person would change … and to keep resenting when that person does not.
Like her, I’m also something of a hoarder in the physical world, keeping things that I really don’t touch, in hopes they will be useful someday, or hanging onto broken things in hopes that I will find a way to fix them and make the time to do it.
I don’t want to WASTE anything, right?
Meanwhile, I’m bogged down under the weight of the unused and the broken.
Closets full of boxes of papers that I might need and probably should file (or, more likely, discard).
Shelves stacked with books I started but lost interest in and never got back to … but can’t bring myself to give away.
A cake decorating kit I’ve had for almost 30 years and have yet to fill with icing.
A rice bed with a broken finial that we’ve carefully packed and moved twice now. The finial is currently sitting on top of the tall dresser again.
And my marriage. We keep peeking in where it’s stored, noticing that it still has potential and still exists, and we aren’t doing a damned thing with it except watching it get dustier.